mystifytheworld

I freeze mid thought because if my mind finishes this once then it will always be there lurking waiting hunting me as I reach my lowest point and then, maybe I actually will this time, 'just this once' I'll say again and again ...always I don't want this to become seared into my head, my soul, my wrists the temptation or the fear i don't know which would win so I stop myse-

Cases: The human body is a case- like one of those eco friendly bio gradable bags people buy to feel like a good Samaritan. If you think about it we recycle the energy from our food into what we are, creating out skin, bones, self. The only difference between a simple bio gradable bag and myself is in what it holds. My body holds secrets. It is a suitcase full of fragmented situations and stray thoughts that has clicked shut, sheltered and protective. Secrets fill empty space in my chest until my plugged throat can no longer relinquish any control to someone other than myself, until I cannot believe that I have the ability to truly love someo

my first love came around as most loves do: slowly, with a mixture of sarcasm and insults and loving nicknames it fell on me, drips from an ocean above my head and I absorbed the liquid warmth unknowingly as a shameless romantic the fact I fell was unsurprising what I didn’t expect was for it to be Her   Her, with the corrected stutter that matched my speech therapy Her cynicism that balanced my idealism Her talent for calming my tempest fury, or fueling it as needed Her, who’s pride was the strongest I’ve ever encountered Her casual touches Her and how she knows the silence of my tears Her, my confidant of shames a

The forest buzzed around me. I kept my eyes perceptive of rustles in the leaves and the weight of my sheathed sword and empty knife holster. Distant shouts echoed through the trees as I gripped the hilt of my blade. I clenched my jaw and tuned the camp out. Just the woods; only the target in front of me. I focused so hard my ears began to ring.   ‘What? Something on your mind, Xena?’   In my mind a teasing, unwelcome laugh stabbed at me. The ridiculous pet name filled me with fury and anguish. My knuckles were white as I vaulted over a log, somersaulted with grace and shucked my knife into the center of the wooden target nailed to

Some taste the acrid smoke of toxic nature, others turn to the Holy Water of the mighty dwarves to find blissful ease and numbness.                  Humans may binge on food, sleep and various poisons to stimulate the                             opium triggers in their flesh. Humans may kill themselves slowly with excess                     of exposure to worldly things. Writers are separate. While we may dabble in such things, our one true drug is fabricated from our over-imaginative mind. We binge by flooding phrases onto the page, forcing the dam open until the well runs bone cracked dry. Our withdrawals turn our bodies into sponges-

The worst feeling is suffocation.   Throat constricted Eyes burning Ears ringing Quick, choked gasps of air And spikes of adrenaline throughout my pressured chest I am not supposed to feel that way in my haven I am not supposed to feel that way speaking with loved ones I am not supposed to feel this way! Understandable injustice is my title for what   You advise for me I know you mean well, truly I do And yet I cannot always suppress the urge to just fly away How can I convince myself it is no more than expected teenage angst when More often than not I am simmering Slowly and with a crystal clear vision of   My impediment I conc

I must let the music pound until my ear drums burst   Until  I feel myself trickle down the ear lobe I must let my fingers control my brain and watch what unfolds. I must tune out. I must breath. I must slow the beat of my blood pumping, adrenaline filled heart. I must ignore. I must ignore. I must ignore the incessant movement, the panicking chatter fillin gmy brain until I forget what air tastes like.

  I hate how   I can’t read you How I don’t know what’s going on   Behind your annoying (addicting) eyes Your smart ass remarks and unpredictable   Words How the hell am I supposed to respond When I am stuck in the   Thunderstorm (watching the lightning flash in your smirk)? I hate how I have no control over my expression When you look at me And how I think you know (a mere inkling) About why I tend to be blushing And have short, reluctantly dimpling retorts. But…. I am not so sure how long I can keep hating this This annoying (addicting) Unspoken game we play.  

Oh child never grow up never lose yourself to the thoughts of the mass oh child promise me you will stay in your singing days and love life so automatically oh dear child should Peter Pan ever pass your window, shout and scream and jump believe in the fairy dust and fly to- not Neverland- but Foreverland Child this is what we all should have done